Visit our blogs Boomer Mike Allen Tony & Kris
Apr 9

I love SF…. But this guy does make some valid points….

TRAVEL
REASONS WHY SAN FRANCISCO IS THE WORST PLACE EVER

Written by: Dave Schilling and Jules Suzdaltsev

Photo via Flickr User Alberto Garcia

2014 is slowly turning into the “Year of San Francisco.” The East Coast media in America has anointed SF as the new hub for innovation, conspicuous consumption, and comically absurd rentsNew York Magazine parachuted a bunch of reporters into the Bay Area to figure out how to steal their douchebags back. The article asked “Is San Francisco New York?” No, it’s much worse. The existential crisis around San Francisco’s ascension to the heights of assholery stands in stark contrast to the fact that it is damn near unlivable for most normal people.

The end is nigh for a city that used to be a magnet for the counter-culture. San Francisco was strangled, so we decided to go over the numerous causes of death.

Photo via Flickr User Jay Galvin

Everyone Worth a Damn Is Moving to Oakland

San Francisco used to be that place you moved to if you were too weird for LA, but too lazy for New York. It was a perfect city to ply your trade as a quirky motherfucker with a penchant for “edgy performance art” and whimsical scarves. That was just dandy. We liked that.

Around every corner, there could be an anarchist bookshop or a dude covered in glitter, wearing a Spongebob t-shirt, and sporting a raging hard-on. Where did that San Francisco go? Across the fucking bridge, that’s where.

Oakland is cheaper than San Francisco (but not by much), it’s close to Berkeley’s cultural gravity, and it’s just a BART trip away from what’s left of SF’s relevance. It’s also an industrial wasteland full of crime and Raider fans. You might ask yourself, What happened to San Francisco’s iconoclastic spirit…? Well, in two simple words:

Photo via Flickr User Tech Cocktail

Tech Bros

There’s always been a bourgeois element to San Francisco that we all just ignored. The landed gentry of Nob Hill, Pac Heights, and Sea Cliff have always been there. They have owned their home for years, love wearing fleece sweaters, own nothing but real wood furniture, and are the type of people who tool around McCovey Cove in their yachts during Giants games. They are from a different planet and don’t mingle with the plebs. They have their world of brandy snifters, champagne flutes, cheese tastings, and obscure European automobiles. They honestly don’t care what you think.

The tech bro, on the other hand, seeks to engage in city life. They go to the same bars you do. They eat at the same restaurants. They badly want to be accepted as “cool,” while also having more money than you and getting chauffeured to work in a free corporate bus. Their insistence on trying to infiltrate the real San Francisco has pretty much killed the real San Francisco. Dolores Park, once a safe haven for burnouts to drink 40s and smoke weed at 2:30 PM on a Tuesday, is now the world’s biggest networking event for dudes who wear khakis to the gym.

In New York, Wall Street people know they’re pricks. In Los Angeles, Hollywood people are too stupid to know they’re pricks. In San Francisco, tech bros think they’re saving the world with their crackpot schemes aka “start-ups.” They’re the fucking worst.

Photo via Flickr User Shawn Whisenant

16th + Mission

The intersection of 16th and Mission—home to a bustling BART station and breeding ground for MS-13 gang activity— is where some 1970s dystopian vision of pre-Giuliani Manhattan has finally found a home. Remember that crazy naked black guy doing backflips and attacking commuters at a subway station? That was here.

Photo via Flickr User Tom Caswell

Dog Shit on the Sidewalk

These urban IEDs are everywhere, constantly threatening your ability to have a normal walk in a city that basically forces you to be a pedestrian. Also, everyone’s got a dog now, which means they gotta shit somewhere.

Photo via Flickr User CasparGirl

Too Many Stores Are Cash Only

Don’t pull out a credit card to buy your bespoke iPhone case. Save that shit for ETSY. This is San Francisco, the home of the shopkeeper too lazy/cheap to get a card reader. “Oh, we’re so edgy that we don’t take credit cards! We’re sticking it to the evil banks!” I have a crippling nicotine addiction and don’t care about your principles.

Photo via Flickr User Matt Lemmon

Haight-Ashbury Street Kids

Remember how we were saying we missed San Francisco’s “local color”? Well, there’s a dark side to that, and it’s not concerned with the cost of rent. The stinky weirdoes who beg for change and scream profanities at anyone who looks too “normal” will never leave San Francisco. The parks, bus benches, and gutters are their home. Their only calling is to ruin your day. We don’t even hate hippies that much. We’re all just trying to get by, and hippies are occasionally creative or interesting. The street kids in Haight-Ashbury don’t produce anything other than contempt. They’re mean to everyone, and aren’t shy about expressing themselves. They’re so shitty that if you give them leftovers from a restaurant, you might want to be sure they don’t spit the food back in your face and piss on your leg.

Photo via Flickr User David J. Laporte

Fisherman’s Wharf

This shit should fall into the ocean. It’s easy to pick on a tourist trap, but to be fair there were only maybe three places in San Francisco that didn’t qualify as tourist traps, and they all moved to Oakland in 2007. The Wharf is where all the street vendors make $80,000 a year and live in SOMA. There’s a desperate air of indulgence that illustrates how visiting San Francisco is just smelling your own kale salad farts. Besides the press-a-penny machines, speed painters, octopus keychains, loud sea lions, and chain restaurants, it’s also perpetually cold as balls in a city that almost prides itself on being annoyingly chilly.

Photo via Flickr User Dennis Matheson

Alcatraz

What kind of fucked up level of detachment do you have to have to bring your suburbanite family on a “funtastic” tour of a maximum security prison where hyper-violent men, stripped of their humanity, beat and raped each other? Hint: It’s the same people who get out of their cars and say shit like “I pay your salary!” when pulled over. I genuinely believe that if you willingly visit Alcatraz, you would have owned slaves with no moral qualms. On the other hand, the ferry ride over is pretty nice.

Photo via Flickr User hinnosaaur

Driving

I am convinced that San Francisco was built as a dune buggy course, but became an actual city in the 1970s. I’ve had the displeasure of driving in Los Angeles, Boston, New York City, and Houston; yet San Francisco is the only city on earth where I’d rather set my car on fire and leave it smoldering in the middle of a one-way street than spend another two hours creeping up a series of 50 degree inclines, hoping to find a loading zone to briefly stop in before loudly, hopelessly weeping into my steering wheel. Cyclists, pedestrians, buses, and streetcars are keen to remind you that this is their city, not yours, and if they hit you, it’s your fault for being an eco-terrorist and not longboarding everywhere.

Photo via Flickr User Andrew Sherman

The Public Transportation Is a Joke

OK, we’ve established that driving in San Francisco is both pointless and dangerous. That’d be fine if the public transit system wasn’t still operating with an infrastructure from the Reagan administration. Muni, the city transit system, has trains that fall apart and fall off the tracksbecause of faulty, ancient overhead wires. They’re also always late because every line has an above-ground segment that routinely gets stuck in gnarly traffic. The train cars look like they’re made of plastic and need to be wound in the back to operate. The buses aren’t much better since they’re prone to randomly squashing cars. No big deal, right?

If you’re hoping BART is better, well… People get shot on BART—by the police. The seats are made of a fabric that is great for soaking up piss, vomit, and semen. The trains also make this godforsaken whistling noise underground. Don’t ask me why. I don’t know. It sounds like a dolphin getting fucked in the blowhole by a grizzly bear. BART is buying new trains that address all these issue, which will start running in 2017. Of course, BART is also continuing to raise fares, making it harder and harder to afford to get anywhere, which makes living in the East Bay and working in SF even less tenable. Man, that Google Bus is sounding pretty good now, isn’t it?

Story From Vice.com

Follow Dave Schilling and Jules Suzdaltsev on Twitter.

Apr 4

I Love Lamp

Thats it, just thought I would let you know, I love Lamp

Photo: www.thehackersparadise.com

Mar 28

Blake teams with Shakira for “My Medicine!”

What do you think about this track?!?!

Mar 19

Carrie and Taylor make Family Guy!

Sorry I know Family Guy isnt PC (who is anymore…) But this made me laugh!!!

Mar 6

I have the Blake Beer Gut Workout, Ladies Here’s Carrie’s Leg Workout!

So I am well on my way with the Blake Shelton Beer gut work out and have definitely seen result… :( But enough about my work outs! Ladies, the holy grail of leg workouts has been reveled, How Ms. Underwood gets, what I think most consider, the best legs in all of music! So here you are, enjoy, and try not to throw up doing it!

It’s no secret that Carrie Underwood has some of the best legs in country music. But perfectly toned legs don’t come naturally, and the superstar works hard to keep hers in tip-top shape.
Though, Underwood doesn’t do all the hard work on her own. According to Glamour, the singer calls in her favorite trainer, Erin Oprea, to help whip her legs and thighs into shape. The two have been working out together for a long time, and it shows if you look at the ‘See You Again’ singer’s legs.
Want to get Underwood-like legs? You’ll have to start with everyone’s not-so-favorite workouts … squats and lunges. The star is a fan of squats to lunges — she does 15 reps of these before moving on to something else. The blonde also adds 15 reps of the lateral lunge into her leg workout. She adds a twist to the common lateral lunge by adding one 5- to 15-pound weight.
For a more intense squat, Underwood hits the stairs! She positions herself on one stair then lowers down into the squat position and jumps before landing back into the squatting position on the next step. Talk about a workout! Did you reach the top of your staircase? Just walk back down to the bottom and start all over again, because that’s how you’ll get Carrie Underwood’s legs.
For the next more unique squat, head to your kitchen. Find a hip-high countertop and hold on. Spread your legs and stand as high on your tiptoes as you possibly can. Start lowering yourself into a wide leg squat while still on your toes, then pull yourself up about an inch and then pull down about an inch. Underwood calls these leg killers the “pulsing sumo squat,” and she does them a whopping 40 times before standing upright.
She’s not afraid of skater hops to get her limbs ready for short dresses — she does these for about a minute. Underwood also likes to bust out a Bosu ball for her workout. She squats with one leg on the Bosu ball before jumping and repeating with the next leg for 30 seconds.
Last but not least, Underwood mixes in cherry pickers with up to a 25-pound kettlebell. She spreads her legs but keeps her knees from being too upright. When she bends her knees, she keeps her back flat as she starts to lower the kettlebell in her hands towards the ground.
If you start working on these eight leg-focused workout moves, you’ll have your stems ready for spring weather and short skirts in no time!

Story taken from tasteofcountry.com and Glamour Magazine

Photo Credit Getty Images

Feb 26

We Can Finally “Drink To That All Night!!”

This video shows why Jerrod could never be a rapper…. LOL! Shot out to the Donkey?!?!

Feb 7

A Year in the Life

A year ago this morning I was woken up by Mike Allen and my boss with a phone call. It was literally the call that I had dreamed about since I was twelve,  when I dreamed about being on the radio more than anything else, always thought that it was just a crazy dream.

A year later and it feels like it has been a crazy dream. This has honestly been one of the greatest years of my life and I really owe it to YOU the Late Nighters! If it wasn’t for all of the love and support that you have shown not just me, but the whole 1019 The Wolf family none of us would be here! YOU are what makes all of this happen. YOU are the reason that I am getting to live out my dreams, and honestly I can’t put into words how much I truly appreciate that and try to live up to any expectations every day!

I’ve been blessed with some AMAZING experiences in the past 12 months. The ACM awards was definitely a highlight! But I gotta say that the best part is all of the great people I have gotten to meet and become friends with. Some really cool record reps, like Dave, Roger, and Pleshi. Had the opportunity to meet and get to know some up and coming artist that are real genuine guys like Dylan Scott, Joel Crouse, Eric Paslay and Austin Webb! But honestly, the folks that I have met at shows, The Grad, van stops or just random places have been amazing! And that is because Country music fans truly are the best!

I want to try not to drag this out real far, but I just want to thank a few people that have gotten me here! The bosses that let me do this, Tosh, Country Cholo and Mike Allen! Of course the Wolf Extreme Team! The Entravision fam! Danny Cee for being my DJ on this crazy idea we call the Late Night Roundup, and for letting me do my thing at The Grad in Davis! How about the Whole Grad staff and everyone that comes out there every Saturday and play the stupid games that I come up with! The Players Fam who keep me in check! And to my friends and family, especially Lyd, Megan, Jay, Nikki, and my “Big Bro” you guys have all supported me and I love you for it!!

So I just wanted to say thank you, I truly feel blessed to do what I love for a living and try to give back everything that you put in with your love and support! I am proud to be part of country radio and very proud to call 101.9 The Wolf my home!

“You could have been anywhere in the world, but your here with me, and I appreciate that!”

Jay Roberts

Jan 31

Day 25/26 FFF PBR tix!

So in just a few hours I will have made it to the promise land!!! No fast food!! Have to give the updates for today and yesterday since the PBR tickets are for tomorrow!

So I made it! Thank you all for the motivation and kind words all month! It definitely wasnt easy!! But I got through it, and I worked out 4-5 days a week while doing it! I feel good, but I know that I’m going to eat some In-N-Out this weekend!! I have learned that I have the time to plan out my meals more carefully and eat healthier. Again thanks for all the support!!

I will announce the winner at 8:42 tonight!!

Jan 30

Day 24 FFF PBR Tix

So I had to wake up early Tuesday to go pick my truck up from the shop before school so I couldn’t make my egg burrito so I just had a protein shake instead but that really didn’t fill me up so much. Luckily I remembered to pack my lunch box the night before! These little wraps that I’ve been making are awesome! I take a little tortilla and toss in some salami and turkey and a slice of cheese! They definitely help me get through my school days! So another day in the books, and…

Alex Emmons 1/28/2014
Sami Flores 1/28/2014

No bull for you! Man baring something major tomorrow… I am in the clear!!! Only 1 person picked tomorrow and 7 more had the faith that I would make it through!!!

So close…..

Jan 29

Day 23 FFF PBR tickets!

Well now… we are getting close to me actually pulling this little experiment off!!! With that said….

Brenna DeMello 1/27/2014
Rachel LoBue 1/27/2014

You may want to get tickets now… heard there going fast!!

Yesterday did have a big challenge… I got my house! Well I got a rental and my roommate wanted to go grab lunch at In-N-Out to celebrate…. But… I took a rain check and ate my Quinoa and chicken! I am so eating a burger on Saturday!!!

«